Debbie's Reasons
by ohsnapitzlena
Summary: Debbie Dingle killed herself 2 weeks ago, but she didn't leave without explaining why. Thirteen reasons why to be exact. T for language and adult themes (sorta..)
1. Prologue

_Hey everyone! Whooo! A new Emmerdale story! My third Emmerdale story! I got the idea for this based off a Glee story called Rachel's Reasons and I got the permission from the author of that story to write this story. Everything's planned, so there won't be any surprise cancellations like some of my previous stories. Although, I've never read the book, so things will be different, but sticking to the general idea. Some reasons will be relatively similar, but others wont. Please enjoy, follow/favorite if you like the story and leave me a review! :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Emmerdale, Thirteen Reasons Why or any of their characters!_

* * *

I walk down the steps of my apartment as someone rings the doorbell and knocks twice, signaling they've left a package.

When I open the front door, a brown box wrapped with a red bow waits at the doorstep.

I pick it up and bring it inside, holding it close to my body, making sure it doesn't fall. I then go back up the stairs and into my own bedroom once more.

"Jasmine, who was at the door?" my roommate yells from her room across the hall.

"A package, Clara. And no, not for you." I say quickly, before her interest takes over.

She emerges at my bedroom door anyway and notices the package in my hands.

"Who from?"

"I dunno." I say honestly.

I look down at the package in my hands and read the tag on it.

"Debbie." I whisper, then look up at Clara. "It's from Debbie."

"Debbie.. As in the love of your life that.. took her own life.. a few weeks ago?" she asks softly, trying to avoid bring back emotions, but it doesn't work, and they all flood back anyway.

I feel the tears fall from my eyes and all the memories we ever had replay over and over.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's her." I say, my voice breaking.

"Well, what's in the box?"

I turn my attention back to the package and slowly un-wrap the bow, then open the box itself.

Inside are 13 CDs, each marked with a number, one through thirteen.

"Well?" Clara pushes.

"Um, just some CDs.."

"Right well, I'm going out. I'll be back later tonight, yeah?"

"Alright. Be safe."

"Thanks, mum." She says sarcastically as she walks out the door.

I find my old CD player and headphones, then put the first disk in. I put one headphone in each ear, take a deep breath, and push play.

_"Hey everyone. Bet you're surprised to hear from me. Debbie Dingle, back from the dead. Well, not really. I mean, we all know that couldn't really happen. And even if it could.. I wouldn't want to. Not after all I've been through."_

_Oh God.._

_"This, what I'm doing here, is based off a book I read some time ago. It's called Thirteen Reasons Why. I know. 'Debbie Dingle read a book!' Well, yeah. I have. Surprise, surprise. If you haven't read it, do so."_

I think I've read that.. In fact, I think I'm the one who showed it to her. Oh God, I inspired this.

_"I got rid of the book a while ago so I don't remember the exact words, but I remember what I need to. If you're hearing this, you've just got a box from me, well, not me, but from me indirectly, and found the disks. They are marked from one to thirteen, each holding a different story from a different person, and each is a reason as to why I no longer walk this planet."_

_I'm a reason?_

Obviously, I'm a reason, I've got the tapes. But what on Earth did I do to hurt her so much, she'd take her own life?

I mean.. I slept with her dad, sure. But.. she got past that.. right? I left her after being released.. but I didn't want to. It took everything I had to stay away from her, and now I absolutely have to.

_"Listen to all the tapes, don't just be a jerk and skip to yours, because you won't _know_ which one is yours. When you're done, send the package with all the disks to the person who's disk comes after yours. Like Hannah says in the book, "Lucky number thirteen can take these tapes straight to hell." And don't think you can just hold onto the tapes because you don't want anyone else to know what you did. I have a second set, entrusted in the hands of a loyal friend who isn't on here. If these tapes don't get to number thirteen, that loyal friend will release the second set to everyone in the entire village, and that's a lot of people. Way more than just thirteen people hearing the terrible things you've done."_

"I promise, Debs, I won't. I'll listen to them all and make sure everyone gets theirs."

_"That being said, let's get on here, yeah? Tape number one is for someone I thought was family, but clearly, they weren't. That's right. Tape number one is for you, Lisa._

Lisa Dingle? They were close! They were so close! She's her grandmother! Well.. I guess she wouldn't be on the tapes unless she did something.. Let's find out.


	2. Reason 1: Lisa Dingle

_Hi guys! Well, barely anyone read the last chapter and that makes me sad, because I was really hoping this story would be really amazing.. I think this chapter may be a good way to show that, but it may not. Though, the rest of the chapters will! Enjoy! Please follow/favorite and leave me a review! :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Emmerdale, Thirteen Reasons Why or any of their characters._

* * *

Well, here we go.

_"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. My name may have been Dingle like yours, but you never let me forget that after the whole Sarah ordeal, I wasn't part of the family."_

_What?_

_"When I gave Sarah to Emily, all you did was fight me. When I tried to make things right, you bit back. I wasn't a Dingle to you. I may have been your biological grand-daughter, but there was no feeling in your heart for me."_

How could I have missed that? They must've been pretty good actresses if they kept themselves together like that.

_"Every single time I messed up in even the slightest way, you hated me. You would do everything you could to make sure nobody was on my side. Yeah, maybe that's a bit of a baby-ish thing to be upset over, but it really hurt. Now's the time for truths, isn't it? So then let me tell you something. Remember when Ashley and Laurel kicked me out of the vicarage?"_

I remember that day. Uncle Ashley and Laurel didn't want her around anymore because of the party her, Daz and I threw that almost killed Victoria..

_"That was all my fault to you, wasn't it? Of course it was, because that's how you saw me. The so-beyond-farther-than-troubled Debbie. And then that night, the vicarage burned down. In the hospital, I got endless torment from you, from Zak, from Ashley, and even from Cain, which was expected. Jasmine was the only one on my side, because she knew what really happened."_

I _was _the only one on her side. Zak yelled at her because the house was standing for over 100 years. Cain, well, was Cain and hated her for it anyway. Uncle Ashley didn't want anything to do with her and Laurel was forced to take Ashley's side.

_"Wanna know what really happened, Lisa? That night, in the house, I pulled out a bottle of vodka. Something I'd saved from the party. Daz and Jasmine were there too. Daz, though. Ooh, he was not happy. We got into a fight over Jasmine and his little crush on her and you know what happened next? He took the vodka bottle from my hands, yelled, 'You bitch!' and threw it on the ground. Jasmine chased him outside and told me to clean it up. So I went upstairs to get some water to wash it from the rug it fell on, and as I got down there, the whole place was in flames. I did what I could to stop it, trust me, but I passed out from smoke inhalation."_

Oh God, that I didn't know. Daz and I were outside when I saw the room on fire through a window.

_"Daz had already taken the blame for Jasmine and I at the party, because like I said, he had a silly little crush on her. If he'd been found out the vicarage fire was his fault, he'd have gone down. All I did was do the nice thing and try to protect a friend. And you hated me for it Lisa. You absolutely and utterly hated me."_

I remember Lisa being upset with her for it, but I didn't know she hated her. I thought they were close. I guess I was wrong.

_"Did you think this was the end of your CD, Lisa? Well, you're wrong. See, the vicarage fire and the giving-up-Sarah hate wasn't what hurt me the most."_

_There's more?_

_"Oh yes. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. I think two or three years after Jasmine had been taken in, I got into selling liquor. Remember that? It was sometime around when Belle was suspended from school."_

Belle got suspended? For what? She's a good kid!

_"You know, your boyfriend getting another girl pregnant, that's gotta do your head in. So, she decided to look around, you know, see what she could find, and stumbled across some of those bottles. Of course, they were discarded because they weren't clean, but she didn't know that. She drank the entire thing, and bumped into me. See, I knew she was drunk.. but I had no idea it was from my own bottles. She wouldn't go back to you because, well, you were doing the same to her. Hating her for a mistake she made."_

_God, Lisa seriously isn't who I thought she was._

_"I was working, so I told her to go back to my place. She and I were close, so I knew she'd go back to mine if I asked. Thought maybe she could lie down and rest, get over being drunk. But that's not at all what happened. Oh no. She passed out. She was completely unconscious when Sarah and I found her."_

I can only imagine how she must've felt when she saw Belle there..

_"Why am I making you relive this? Think back to what happened at the hospital. Because she was in my house, and drank some of my vodka that I didn't even know about, the whole thing was my fault, which-once again- sparked your hatred for me. And then we found out that she might've had permanent, long-term brain damage, and you wanted to kill me. I could see it in your eyes. But what hurt the most was what you said."_

"What did she say..?" I whisper, hoping no one is around still.

_"You said, 'You stupid, selfish, pathetic, little girl. I wash my hands of you. You shouldn't be here. You don't belong with decent people.' That was when I knew you really hated me. And that was when I knew I was no longer a Dingle by your standards."_

"Oh my God."

_"All I wanted was a family that loved me and cared about me. But you didn't. And because you didn't, no one else did. You turned everyone against me because I made mistakes. So, Lisa. This is what I have to say to you. Give people a chance. Stop judging them by the mistakes they make and look for the things that make them special. Most often, it's not on the surface. It could make the difference between life and death."_

_That was bad. That was worse than I thought it would be. I'm scared to hear the rest.._

_"The next CD is for the person who gave me the most important parts of my life, but destroyed the other parts. Andy Sugden, this one's for you." _


	3. Reason 2: Andy Sugden

_Hi guys! Alright, I think you guys are able to guess Andy's reason.. haha. Although, some characters will have a made up background including things that haven't happened in the show, just to give the story some more excitement. Okay, here goes!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Emmerdale, Thirteen Reasons Why or any of their characters._

* * *

I take the first disk out of the player and put in the next, labeled "2," respectively.

Drawing in another deep breath, I press the play button and lay back on the floor.

_"Andy Sugden. I've felt so many different feelings towards you, by the end of my life there were no feelings left to discover."_

_I'm not sure if that's good or bad.._

_"When I was fourteen, I fell in love with you. You were, what, sixteen? The age gap didn't matter to me. All I knew was that I wanted you. But you didn't want me. Well, at least after that night, you didn't want me."_

What?

_"Yeah. You played with my feelings, got into my bed and then threw me away like a useless piece of trash."_

_Woah.. Totally didn't know that.._

_"Oh yeah. Then I found out about Sarah and hated your guts. I didn't want a thing to do with you. When you found out was when you finally started to care. Cared so much that you weren't even there when she was born. All I had to help me was Daz, and even he left. But that's a story for another disk."_

That I knew. I'm not sure why Andy wasn't there, but I do know that Daz left.

_"And then when I gave her away, you suddenly cared again. You cared about her, not me. Over the years, we shared her, but there were times when you took her away from me all together. But that I don't blame you for. You did what you thought was best for Sarah's health and I thank you for that."_

_If she didn't blame him for that, then why is he on the disks?_

_"We were friendly, but not really friends. Then Sarah got ill, and we came together. Quite literally, if you know what I mean. And that's where Jack comes in. Another amazing part of my life. He and Sarah-and Jas- were my entire world. So again, thank you."_

I put my hands over my eyes, trying not to show the pain I'm feeling.

She has another child.. Jack.. With Andy. I only wish I'd been able to share the lives of those kids with her.

I miss Debbie so much. And knowing that these CDs are the last time I will ever hear her voice is killing me.

_"Now I bet you're wondering why you're even on these tapes, Sugden."_

_Not only Andy's wondering, dear.._

_"It's because of what happened to me after Sarah was born. The reputation I earned. Sure, I made my reputation what it is but you're the core. You're what started it. Because of your selfish actions, my reputation went from sorry foster kid to scruffy, just-like-the-others Dingle. Maybe I had it coming, seeing as I had a blood-relation to the Dingles, but I could've gone somewhere. I'm not saying I regret her, but if I hadn't had Sarah, who knows where my life would have gone."_

_She has a point._

_"Maybe.. Just, maybe.. I'd still be alive."_

I feel the tears begin in my eyes with that last sentence. As the words filled my ears, I could feel myself being torn apart; my heart being the very first thing to go. I fight them off, still unsure if Clara is back home or not.

_"Oh, and then Katie showed up. Oh, yes. Katie Macey. The girl that just loooooved to make fun of me for the mistakes I made with you. Sometimes I thought, maybe this time he'll defend me. But you never did. So I had to fight for myself, once again earning me my reputation. So thanks."_

I wish I could've been there for her when Katie was around. I helped her once, which seemed to do the trick.

_I hope._

_"This disk is probably the shortest of all, considering this reason didn't play much of a role, but it did play _a _role, which is why it's on here. Obviously.."_

Hah. There's the Debbie I know; never making any sense but still always pulling at my heartstrings.

_"So here's what I have to say to you, Andy. Don't play with people's emotions. It could lead them down some very dangerous, regretful or depressing paths. It hurts much more than you think it does."_

_Truer words have never been spoken._

_"Well, that's the end of this disk. But don't worry, there's much more to come. The next disk's for a friend, and a fellow Dingle. Disk three's for you, Belle."_

Belle Dingle. She was only a kid when I was there. I wonder what has happened between them..


	4. Reason 3: Belle Dingle

_New chapter, woohoo! :D This chapter is one of the made up ones, even though some of the aspects are the same. Alrighty, I'm not spending too much time on this so review/follow/favorite pretty please, and thanks! :D_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Emmerdale, Thirteen Reasons Why or their characters._

* * *

Once again, I take out the disk and put in the next, headphones still firmly placed in my ears.

I decide I can't sit in my room any longer, just in case Clara comes back, which she is due to soon.

Grabbing my bag and my sweater, I walk down the steps in my apartment then unlock the door and walk out.

The key I have fits perfectly in the lock, as it should, and I turn it, causing the door to lock.

I put the key back in my bag, and pull up the hood on my sweater, as it's now raining.

It's also very dark, which makes for the perfect mood to listen to these tapes.

I press play, and begin to walk to a nearby park.

_"Hi Belle. I bet a lot of you listening are wondering why Belle's even on here. But Belle knows. Don't 'ya, Belle."_

_Alright.. here goes._

_"When I was younger, I had a best friend, Victoria Sugden. We did everything together and were so very close."_

_So..? What's this have to do with Belle?_

_"And then another little girl came along. She was what.. 9? 10? Either way, she wasn't much younger than me."_

That's Belle, right there.

_"For a while I thought we would be friends together, all three of us, but that most definitely wasn't what that girl was thinking. Needless to say, that girl was Belle."_

I laugh at Debbie's last sentence as she does silently.

_"I didn't think I needed to say that but some of you probably wouldn't have guessed. Anyway, back to being serious."_

My laughter stops as Debbie begins to get more serious.

_"You took her away from me, Belle. How could you do that? I didn't do a single thing to you. You got bored of being friends with Daz and decided you wanted Victoria."_

I finally arrive at the park and sit on a swing, gently moving back and forth.

_"And Victoria left. You somehow managed to persuade her that I wasn't a good enough friend for her, and ripped her from me. She was all I had.. Everyone left me and you didn't care. You stole her from me, leaving me completely alone. No family. No friends. Nobody. Thanks Belle."_

_Oh my stars.._

_"But that's not the end! No! Remember on Lisa's tape when I said Belle got suspended? That plays a part here too."_

_I don't know if I'm ready for this._

_"Belle, you and I grew close about a year ago, despite everything that happened previously, and I forgave you pretty easily, which is something I don't normally do, so feel good about yourself for a second. Okay done."_

_Wow, that is most definitely something Debbie would say._

_"Then you got suspended, because your boyfriend slept with someone else.. and you did something about it, which we won't get into because it's not important to this. I felt for you, I really did, because your mom was treating you the way she treated me constantly, and I didn't want anyone to go through that."_

_Awee, Debs._

_"Soon enough, everyone was against you, and again, I felt for you. So I tried to help. I let you talk and vent your feelings, but what neither of us knew was that Dom Andrews was in the truck we were talking near."_

_Dom? Why Dom?_

_"I guess he wanted revenge on you because that other girl is his daughter. Whatever. So, you poured your heart out to me, and ended up saying something like you wanted to punch her face in. And Dom heard."_

I stop swinging on the swings and listen intently.

_"He reported that to your school, which counted as a threat and nearly got you expelled. You definitely take after your mother, because who did you blame? Me. You had reason, which is fine, but you didn't give me the chance to explain."_

_That sounds like most people when it comes to Debbie.._

_"Then you found my discarded bottles and the hospital, possible-brain-damage things happened, which got me hated by pretty much everyone."_

_I'm so sorry, Debs. I'm sorry._

_"The worst part? You realized it was Dom that squealed on you, and didn't even apologize to me. You stopped talking to me completely after all of that.. and left me alone once more. So, thank you, Belle. Thank you."_

_Oh my stars._

_"Belle, here's what I have to say to you. Think before you act. Your actions can cause people a world of pain, even if it's something as small as name calling. You never know what that person's going through, and your comments/actions can make things much, much worse if you don't think it through first."_

I take in a deep breath and exhale slowly, taking in everything said.

_"The next disk is for a friend I haven't seen in a really long while. Daz Eden, you're up."_


	5. Reason 4: Daz Eden

_Hey everyone! Sorry for the late chapter! I've been dealing with stuff and other fandoms are taking over my life and ughh yeah. But here it is! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON THIS STORY! Haha. I have too many stories open right now, so, I'm looking to give away The Lives We Lead. I have no idea where I'm going with it and frankly, I don't have the time to write it, with school now started again. If you'd like it, please, please, please, please, don't shy to ask for it. I'll happily give it to you. If more than one of you asks, I'll choose whoever is planning to create the best storyline. Anywho, Daz's chapter! We haven't seen Daz in a while! So here goes! Enjoy! Follow/Favorite if you like and pretty please leave me a review!:D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Emmerdale, Thirteen Reasons Why or any of their characters._

* * *

I press the button on the CD player, take the disk out, and return it to the box I have with me. It's then that I search for the fourth disk and when I find it, place it into the disk player.

My headphones are firmly fixed in my ears, like they should be, and I'm still sitting on the same swing I was before.

I hit the play button and begin to swing myself back and forth on the swing.

_"Welcome to tape four. This one, as previously mentioned, is for Daz. I bet you know why you're on here."_

_I know why he's on here.. I think._

_"You should know why. Let's start from the beginning, hm? You. Left. Me. Alone."_

_Yeah, I know why._

_"That day was the most terrifying day of my entire life. I'm not even going to bother with telling you what day that was. You should already know. But, if you're stupid and you don't know.. It's the day Sarah was born."_

_That was a little redundant.. haha._

_"Right, anyway. I needed you. I know I always put you down and our friendship wasn't great, but I didn't have anyone, and I needed someone. But what did you do? You chickened out and completely left me."_

_I wish I could've been there to help, Debs._

_"You ran away from that small, cold shack in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea what I was doing. I could've died, Daz! And worse, Sarah could've died."_

_Wait, what?_

_"For those of you who don't know, it was ridiculously cold that night, and I had nothing to wrap myself or Sarah in.. And nobody was there to help me keep her warm. For a while, she stopped breathing."_

_Oh my stars._

_"You came back, which is okay I guess, and brought help.. So thanks, and Sarah's alive and well now. But that's not the end of your disk."_

_It's not?_

_"Remember when I talked about the fire at the Vicaridge and how I took the blame for Daz? Yep, that plays a part too."_

_Oh really? I didn't think that really meant anything._

_"Yeah, see, Daz did a good thing, taking the blame for the party, but that wasn't for me, that was for Jasmine."_

_Aww!_

_"I took the blame for the Vicaridge fire to save your butt. You would've gone down, and I didn't even get a thank you."_

"Wow, Daz." I say to myself.

_"Taking the blame for you not only caused massive amounts of hate from everyone in the entire village.." Debbie starts._

_Ain't that the truth.._

_"I nearly lost Jasmine forever. At the time, I don't know how I would've lived without her. And now I know, I can't."_

_Oh, Debs. Debbie.._

_"So, thank you, Daz, for losing me my girlfriend and best friend, but also sparking the hatred for me once more. The worst part is I never got a sorry, or a thank you."_

_Ugh, he's such scum._

_"My lesson to you, Daz, is to never take people for granted. There are going to be people in your life that will do things for you because, even though they know they'll end up hurting themselves, they also know that things just might turn around for you, and that's enough for them. It was enough for me."_

_That's so sweet. I never thought I'd hear that about Daz coming from someone like Debbie.._

_"Always, always, always, show your thanks or your sorrow. It means a lot to some people. And those people are the ones you want in your life."_

_Preach, girl!_

_"The next disk is for someone so close to me. You've hurt me so many times, and now I'm going to make you regret it. Chastity, you're up."_

Chas.. I can see it, I think. Maybe, I don't know.

What I do know is that Chas was the first person I told about Debbie and I. She was the only one I knew I could trust at the moment, and she happened to be passing by.

I wonder what things she and Debbie have in their history, but judging by their relationship, probably a lot.

I get up from the swing and begin to circle in the park, letting the brisk air hit my skin, sending chills through my entire body.

Sighing, I wrap my coat firmly around me once more and put my hands in my pocket.

I close my eyes and just let myself wander for a few moments, taking in the silent surroundings, and breathing in large quantities of the chilly air.

"Four down, Ten to go."

I don't know how much more I can take, because I know that they're only going to get worse from here.

The secrecy contents of my disk are swarming through my brain, causing me to feel very uneasy.

I find a nearby park bench, and sit down.

"Relax."


End file.
